For You and Me
By Anthony Casperson
10-12-24

The preacher had barely started his sermon. He hadn’t even gotten into his rhythm yet. But as he voiced a concern that some in the audience might have about how the topic applies, he said that it would be useful “for you and I.”

It might just be the grammar nerd in me, but that phrase took me right out of the sermon. I laughed and shook my head. And thankfully, it wasn’t repeated multiple times in a row, otherwise I would’ve probably ended up rolling my eyes while praying for God’s grace to hear the truth of his word despite the verbal irritant.

If you’re sitting there wondering why the preacher’s words were incorrect, this intro might be useful for you beyond just helping to illustrate the rest of the blog.

When it comes to the use of the words “I,” “myself,” and “me,” there are four simple rules to keep in mind that will head us in the right direction most of the time. I’d figure about 97-98% of the time—because some outliers do exist, but it’s better to be right most of the time than stand around confused every time.

If the person speaking is doing/being the action of the sentence, then they should use the word “I.” Some examples: “I went.” “I am going.” “I’m here.” This is really the simplest of the grammatical rules.

A little bit more complex is the use of “myself.” And I mention this one for the second rule, instead of “me,” because “myself” requires understanding of the first rule. If the person speaking is the one doing/being the action of the sentence and also the one to whom the action is being done, then they should use “I” for the first occasion and “myself” for the second. You don’t use “myself” unless there is an “I” used or implied somewhere else in the sentence. Some examples for the use of “myself”: “I went myself.” “I bought something for myself.” “By myself.” (The latter would have an “I did it…” implied with the rest of the sentence, especially if the person speaking means to emphasize that they alone did whatever the action was.)

Now, we come to the use of “me.” We have to understand the first two rules in order to be fully confident with this one. When is “me” the proper word for the sentence? Everywhere else. If the person speaking isn’t doing/being the action of the sentence, then the person should say “me.” The ruling out of any “I” in the sentence—whether present or implied—tells us that we should use “me” because “myself” would also be ruled out for the proper use. Some examples: “She told me.” “He brought me with him.”

You might think that we’re done with the grammar now because I’ve dealt with “I,” “myself,” and “me,” but the preacher’s misuse shown above tells us of the need to understand a fourth rule. And this rule is that rules 1-3 also apply when the person speaking is included in a group. For example, if I went to the store with someone else, then I could say, “He and I went to the store.” However if we were children when we went, then the sentence would likely be, “My mom drove him and me to the store.”

So, here’s a compiled list of the quick and easy rules for when to use “I,” “myself,” or “me.”
1.) If the person speaking is doing/being the action of the sentence, then they should use the word “I.”
2.) If the person speaking is the one doing/being the action of the sentence and also the one to whom the action is being done, then they should use “I” for the first use and “myself” for the second.
3.) Everywhere else, use “me.”
4.) Rules 1-3 apply even if the person speaking is included in a group.

But there’s something still eating at you isn’t there? That “him and me” from my example sounds wrong, doesn’t it? Why is that?

It sounds wrong because we’ve had it drilled into our heads that when we’re included in the group that it should be “…and I.” But that’s not correct because the addition of multiple other people shouldn’t change the grammar for “I” and “me.” They have a proper use in the language, and that use doesn’t alter when others are added.

Some are probably asking how this is important? Why am I even talking about all of this grammar? Well, as I considered the preacher’s misuse of the word “I”—because it should’ve been “…for you and me”—I thought about why he got it wrong. And came to the conclusion that the misuse had been drilled into him by someone who either had the wrong thing drilled into them, or who misunderstood the grammar from the start.

But this idea of someone teaching the wrong thing because they either also had it drilled into their mind, or they misunderstood the truth from the start, isn’t a problem of grammar alone. It’s a problem with many true things.

Of course, what came to my mind in the moment was the truth of theology and biblical teaching. There are plenty of false doctrines and teachings that exist because someone misunderstood something about God’s word. And we’ve had generations of people proclaiming the same wrong thing, solely because no one took the time to really look into it. Or people in our preferred group refuse to listen to anyone who disagrees with the group consensus.

Any bad theology, just like bad grammar, has been drilled into a person’s head either by someone who had that same falsehood drilled into them, or they started off misunderstanding the whole thing.

And while I’d absolutely love to point out particular theological misunderstandings prevalent in our culture—I hope you sensed the sarcasm there—it might be best for me to speak of a biblical example and then let us apply the meaning to our own lives.

For this biblical example, we have to understand a few things that I’ve mentioned in a handful of other blogs and sermons before. In the history of ancient Israel, the twelve tribes eventually split between the northern 10 tribes—calling themselves Israel—and the southern 2 tribes—called Judah.

The northern kingdom of Israel followed after several dynasties not of the Davidic line. And the very first of these non-Davidic kings led them to blatant idolatry. A path on which they continued all the way to their destruction in 722 BC, when the Assyrians exported the people to other lands without regard to national identity.

However, the southern kingdom of Judah followed the Davidic line of kings all the way to their own exile by the Babylonians about 150ish years after Israel fell. This line of kings was better than their northern counterparts, but many of them also led the people into idolatry.

While Judah fell much later, there was a concern shortly after the northern kingdom was destroyed that the Assyrians would also take out the southern kingdom. The Assyrian army had Jerusalem surrounded in 701 BC, but the angel of the Lord devastated that army and sent them packing.

(There’s even historical evidence that something strange happened at that time. The Assyrian king reigning at this point in history wrote down all of his victories against nation after nation, listing each victory with pride. But when he got to Judah, he wrote that he had Hezekiah—the Judean king at the time—trapped in Jerusalem like a bird in its cage. But then the silence of what happened after that is suspiciously telling. We know, at least, that there was no victory for the Assyrian king to describe, because he just refused to record what happened there.)

Because of this event in 701 BC, the people of Judah began to believe that the reason Jerusalem didn’t fall was because Yahweh had his temple in the city. Basically, as long as they had the temple in Jerusalem, then the city was safe. God wouldn’t let his temple city be destroyed.

Today, we call this “701 theology” for a reason.

In reality, God’s purpose for protecting Judah and its capital, Jerusalem, from destruction was because it wasn’t God’s time for them to go into exile. They hadn’t fallen to the same level of idolatry as their northern counterparts.

Yet.

As time went on, though, the people of Judah grew more blatant in their own idolatry—even surpassing Israel’s idolatry according to the words given to one of the prophets. And the people of Judah continued to believe that they could add whatever deity they wanted to their worship without consequence.

They believed that as long as they had Yahweh’s temple in their city they were safe. The temple became a thing to ward off evil. And even speaking “the temple of the Lord” became a mantra to remember that they were safe from destruction.

Basically they said, “As long as the temple stands, God won’t destroy Jerusalem and I.” That’s bad theology and bad grammar.

However, God sent a prophet named Jeremiah to call the people of Judah back to himself. Along with that call came a warning that the Babylonians would take the people into exile, if they didn’t repent.

But the people of Judah would just look and point at the temple in Jerusalem and say, “Me’s good.” (Yes, I’m exaggerating the ridiculousness for a reason.)

This is when we come to Jeremiah 7, where God tells the prophet to go before the people and call them to amend their ways. Return to worship of Yahweh alone. True repentance is the only way that he’ll let them stay in Jerusalem. The way to repel the prophesied exile.

And right when the people would be likely to open their mouths to say their little mantra that had been beaten into their heads, God has Jeremiah speak against it. In verse 4, he says, “Do not trust in these deceptive words: ‘This is the temple of the Lord, the temple of the Lord, the temple of the Lord.’”

Stop parroting falsehood, and actually listen to the truth of God.

We see mixed around in verses 5-10 the deeds that would prove their return to Yahweh. Execute justice as God had commanded, not what you deem a justice. Stop spilling the blood of the innocent. Stop chasing after false gods to your own harm. Don’t steal. Don’t murder. Keep sexual union within the boundaries that God defines. Don’t testify lies. And stop going after any and every abominable thing, only to then come into Yahweh’s temple saying, “Well, I got God too, so me’s good.”

There are a whole host of areas where sin makes us consider ourselves as more important than others. Cheating, robbing, killing, and so much more that hurt other people. And even more than that, sin calls us to chase after the gods and philosophies and worldviews and lifestyles that call good whatever it is that we want to do.

In the passage, what God’s saying is how dare we do whatever sounds good to us—despite the fact it goes against God’s ways—and then turn around to give lipservice to him just so that we can say, “Got my get-out-of-hell-free card.”

We should never think that just because it’s somewhere between Monday and Saturday, we can do whatever we want, while on Sunday, we go sing songs of praise. We’re not heading toward holiness if we claim to love people with godly love, but then go around hating and bashing people who disagree with us. Or go around calling people—innocents made in the image of God—something other than human, just because of their current location in time and space.

We don’t get to redefine what God calls good just because something else makes us happy. Plenty of things that are bad for us spiritually feel good when we’re doing them. But that doesn’t make them any less sinful. It doesn’t make them any less detrimental to our spiritual health.

God desires all of a person’s worship. With nothing else vying for our attention. It doesn’t matter if our culture has the mantra of, “If it feels good, then it is good for you and I.” Bad theology is bad theology regardless, just like bad grammar is bad grammar regardless. It doesn’t matter if it feels right in the moment, it is still wrong.

But while bad grammar can be laughed at, there’s a much bigger problem when we have bad theology. A more detrimental effect.

The consequences for the people of Judah was exile. For us, it could be a breaking of relationships, or loss of something important to us. And in the worst-case scenario, if we’re fooling ourselves about how good we are with God, it might lead to hearing Jesus say, “I never knew you. Depart from me, you worker of lawlessness.”

None of us want to consider the extreme of that last sentence. But it’s important for us to understand the dire nature of playing around with bad theology that’s been drilled into our heads. And the people of Judah stand as example, showing us what denying God’s call to repentance means.

With all of this in mind, some might be asking, “Then what can we do to make sure we’re not believing bad theology that’s been drilled into our heads?”

It’s not an easy question to answer. After all, no sane person believes something to be true that they know is false. We all believe the things that align most easily with what we know to be true. So, it can be difficult for us to know whether or not something is wrong—just like how “for you and I” is wrong.

The most important thing for us to do is take a stance of being teachable. If we can’t even finish the sentence, “I could be wrong,” then any attempt at checking for falsehood will fail. I’m not saying that we should let go of all conviction. But we must be willing to lift our thoughts and behaviors up to God with open hands. And not try to re-close our hands over them when he reaches for something we love, but always kinda knew was wrong.

That leads us directly to the second most important thing to do. Pray that God will show us the truth. He wants us to be holy like he is holy, so if we humbly come before him asking to be shown the truth, that’s a prayer he can endorse.

Answers to that prayer can come through trusted leaders and teachers. But beware, that some of them might just be teaching the very same falsehood they’ve been taught. Therefore, it’s actually helpful to look into wise teachers with different opinions on the matter. We might even figure out that neither what we had been taught nor what this other teacher says is right.

But this leads us to one more important thing for us to consider. Teachers and biblical scholars are human. We can all be wrong. (Yes, even I can be. Shocker, I know.) But God’s word is right there with his truth in it. Nothing else can beat looking at the words he spoke through his specifically chosen authors. When we have the truth right there, why feel like we have to look anywhere else?

Again, we come to four simple rules.
1.) Take a teachable stance.
2.) Pray for understanding
3.) Listen to the wisdom of others, not just those who agree with you.
4.) Look at God’s word for yourself.

I know this has been quite a long blog, but I believe that it’s an important teaching to apply…for you and me.