Seven
By Anthony Casperson
5-13-23

It’s strange to think that I’ve been writing these blogs and preaching sermons on this website for seven years now. Seven years of speaking about living spiritually while in the Depths of Darkness. In the valley of death-like shadow.

Seven years of writing faithfully week after week. Seven years of doubting my role in all of this. I mean, just last week I mentioned feeling doubts about the effectiveness of this ministry to those of you reading these words right now.

Every year when we celebrate the anniversary of that first blog, I like to take the time to remember why I started this website. I get to keep in mind where we started so that we keep on track for the whole purpose of this thing.

It began as an encouragement from a couple of people to write about the things I struggle with. The depression I’d dealt with for a long time. And the panic attacks that I’d been learning to live with for almost a year at that time. I felt the need to portray the passions God placed in me along with the pain that he allowed to happen in my life, all so that I could portray the ecstasy and joy and magnificence of God’s creation.

The beauty of God in the mess of the world through the eyes of a nerd.

All of this began with pain and doubt and depression. And wanting to help other people who struggle with all of the same things. A wounded healer who’s hardly ever more than a step ahead of those whom he calls to follow, all the while trying to follow the Shepherd who leads him down this path called righteous.

Even though these seven years haven’t been easy—and I’ve wondered what the point of it all was from time to time—I have to tell you, that I wouldn’t trade any of it for something else. There is no other work that I would like to do more than to speak the words of truth to the downtrodden, forgotten, depressed, and those who feel unloved. I don’t see a greater calling for my life than helping my fellow dwellers of The Depths.

(I might want a few other things to change, but that’s not my point.)

It might have all started while feeling in emotional bankruptcy, but on this seventh anniversary, I don’t want to just leave it with a memory of the past. There’s a true freedom that comes when we align ourselves with the will of God instead of our own.

The first thought that pops in my head when I think about a seven year period comes from Deuteronomy 15:12-18. This passage speaks of what was essentially Israelite bankruptcy law. If a person owed a debt they couldn’t pay—no matter how large—that person would go into indentured servitude in the service of the one owed the debt. They would serve for six years, and then in the seventh year be set free.

However, if the servant realized that life was much better under the service of the master, they would go to the master and ask to remain a servant for the rest of their life. They’d ask to forever be in service to the will of another instead of themselves.

If the master agreed, they’d go to the city elders to get what was essentially a stamp of approval that the servant wasn’t under duress in the whole ordeal. After that, the master would take the servant to the doorpost of their house and pierce the servant’s ear using an awl (see picture below).

And whenever I get to that part, I always say, “Imagine that. The symbol of lifelong servitude is human flesh pinned by sharp metal onto a piece of wood.”

It was the servant’s choice to stop seeking their own will in life. And instead choose to follow the will of another. I’ve already asked God to apply this to my own ear piercing, but it sorta feels right to say that, in the seventh year since this website started, that similar application is placed on these sermons and blogs.

But, I guess, the question arises. Are there any places in your life where life would truly be better if you sought the will of God as a servant?

It doesn’t have to take seven years.